5/9/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

dad joke of the day

The world’s leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

 

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”
“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”
“That would be wonderful,” says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.
He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I’m terribly sorry, but I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don’t recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”
The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.
Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, “No, this just can’t be right! I’ve been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don’t recognize any of these sounds.”
The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.
The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.

“This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!”
The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.
“What seems to be the problem, sir?”
“This is an outrage! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!”
The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.
“I’m terribly sorry, sir. It appears we’ve been playing you the bee side.”

Weekly Wrap Up – Monday 6th August

weekly wrap up

Its Monday, which means its the start of a new week. It also means I am a day late with my weekly wrap up.

and while I could give you any number of excuses why I am running late this week, I’ve said from the start I would be honest with you and I simply don’t know why.

The Down Under household had a fairly busy week last week which partly attributed to the missed timeline, but also my thoughts have been thinking outside of just daily posts to keep you updated and trying to think about the bigger picture, big things are coming.

But enough excuses, here it is, the week (and 1 day) that was.

Top 10 Tuesday

Last weeks Top 10 was all about Twitter (way to many T’s I know), and the hilarious Dad’s that use it to share their real lives with the world. I say real lives as Twitter is where the truth comes out.

Just check out some of these Dad’s and you will know what I’m talking about.

top 10 tuesday twitter dad
By Friday the Down Under Household’s week had already been full so I called a time-out and updated you with

The Week So Far

Tuesday the whole family was overtired, thanks a lot Toddler Sleep Regressions

Wednesday started off as usual with our weekly Swimming Lessons and ended up with a hostage situation that lasted a horrific 15 minutes.

baby driver

Friday’s first stop was the tax man, a boring affair by all accounts, but a well behaved toddler meant it was followed up by a fancy breakfast.

You can read all about it here The Week So Far. . .

If you actually read it you would also know that Mr and Mrs Down Under also had their first child free night in months on the weekend. Why is it that when you finally have the free time without children, all you want to do is relax and sleep.

Don’t forget the Dad Jokes

If you haven’t realised yet this is a Dad Blog, and you can’t seriously have a Dad Blog without the Odd Dad Joke – or in this case, without regular Dad Jokes.

This particular Dad Joke is the perfect play on words, also a good example why you should think carefully about what you name your kids.

spontaneous dad joke

So that’s it for last week in terms of the blog. Obviously more happened in the week then I posted about. However balancing a full time job with being a Dad means sometimes there isn’t always time to let the world know about every little happening. If you would like to keep up to date though I’d suggest a quick follow on Twitter @DownUnderDadbg or on Instagram @downunderdadblog

Been away for awhile, check out my previous weekly wrap up here Weekly Wrap Up – Sunday 29th July 2018

 

The Week So Far. . .

baby driver

Its Friday! in this part of the world anyway, which means the weekend is here. Down Under Dad actually has this weekend off work so more time outside, more time for adventures, and more time with the family.

How has your week been? Considering the weather has still been unseasonably warm, the week has been relatively straight forward in the Down Under Household.

Tuesday

So while nothing overly exciting happened on Tuesday, you will understand why I brought it up in a minute.

Tuesday is daycare day for Oliver. From the reports we get back from the centre, some days it feels like he has more fun there then he does at home.

Normally on a Tuesday Mrs Down Under would go to work, with Down Under Dad not starting work til later in the day, it would fall to me to get the little guy up and ready for Daycare whenever he woke up.

This Tuesday however Down Under Dad had been asked to work during the day rather then the afternoon like usual. Normally this is a good thing, and this week was no different. However it did mean that the morning routine which usually doesn’t have a time limit, was rushed.

Now I won’t bore you with the details, but of course a 2 year old doesn’t really understand when there is a sense of urgency about getting ready. It also happened to be a morning after a night of interrupted sleep (see Toddler Sleep Regressions). This meant that not only were Mr and Mrs Down Under Dad tired, but so was the little guy.

How does the morning routine go in your household? Is it always organised chaos? or have you got it down to a fine art? I’m keen to hear your tips.

Wednesday

Regular followers would know that Wednesday mornings means Swimming Lessons with the little guy. You can see our previous experiences here Swimming Lessons .

The swimming lessons happen the same time every week throughout the year except for during school holidays. That means that we are 2 weeks into this term of lessons. It also means that not only did we have a 2 week break before this, but due to A Week with a Sick Toddler , we actually had 4 weeks off.

swimming lessons

For most people 4 weeks off wouldn’t be an issue, unfortunately when you are dealing with a toddler, 4 weeks off can seem a lifetime.

To summarise, swimming lessons aren’t exactly going swimmingly (#dadjoke) at the moment, fingers crossed another week and they will be back to the usual fun.

After swimming we needed to duck into the supermarket for some urgent supplies (literally wearing the last nappy we had), unfortunately getting back into the car with groceries in one arm and a toddler in the other proved difficult. If you follow me on Instagram @downunderdadblog you already know how this goes.

Our 2 year old’s fascination with cars has reached the next level, now he feels the need to pretend to drive the real ones. Oliver managed to climb into the drivers seat before Down Under Dad had a chance to strap him in and wouldn’t budge. What followed was a long ordeal (15 minutes or so) of Dad sitting in the passenger seat while the little guy pretended to drive.

baby driverWhile there is a smile on his face, every time I asked him to hop in the back I was politely told No No No!

Thankfully the hostage situation ended peacefully with the subject restrained.

Friday

This morning we had arranged for our tax returns to be completed. Again I won’t bore you with the details, but the little guy was surprisingly well behaved.

As we had left home in a hurry, we decided to eat out for breakfast. If you have read about Our Quick Escape – Part 1 then you would know we really enjoy eating fancy for breakfast.

The venue we decided on was Table 1 Espresso , we had been before but when the little guy was much younger. The difference now was we needed 3 meals between us not 2.

As before the service was great, as was the food.

Breakfast

As you can see breakfast consisted of Bacon and Eggs etc for Dad, and pancakes for Mum and Oliver.

The thing about eating at a restaurant with a toddler is that you never know just how much you are going to eat. If you don’t order them their own meal, then they will proceed to eat all of yours. If you do, chances are even if its a ‘kids’ serving, it will be too much.

Today proved to be a combination of the two.

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A combination of the two in more ways then one, in the picture above you can see the little guy’s excitement at mixing his ice-cream with Mum’s juice.

All in all everyone enjoyed their meal, the little guy didn’t eat much but his meal was finished off by Dad without hesitation.

The Weekend

As its Friday today, that means the weekend is tomorrow. What have you got planned? Mr and Mrs Down Under Dad are having a child free night, which means its finally time for another Date Night .

Enjoy the Weekend!

 

1/8/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

spontaneous dad joke

any resemblance to actual kids is purely coincidental

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

spontaneous dad joke

For more Dad Jokes check out Dad Jokes of the Day

or follow me on twitter @DownUnderDadbg

 

Weekly Wrap Up – Sunday 29th July 2018

Weekly Wrap Up

Ready for the week to start all over again? me neither.

My work roster gives me a 4 day week and a 6 day week, unfortunately this week was the latter of the two. That means less time spent with the family, less adventures, and less time writing for my readers, it doesn’t mean it was a quiet week though.

We should always spend some downtime reflecting on our day to day happenings, that’s what this is about,

Down Under Dad presents – The Week that Was.

The End of our Quick Escape

After a busy couple of weeks I finally got around to finishing my account of our short getaway, you can check out Our Quick Escape – Part 3

In case you haven’t been following, part of the reason for our little holiday was our family is about to become bigger, you can check out the details here When 3 become 4. . . . The other part was to celebrate our little guy turning 2 and Mr and Mrs Down Under Dad surviving 2 Years of Parenthood.

The main focus of day 3 of our getaway was our visit to the Hunter Valley Zoo. While we didn’t spend a full day there, it was well worth it to see Ollie’s reactions to finally seeing animals that he had only ever seen in books, in real life!

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Down Under Dad is Famous

Well, not in the traditional sense of the word, but hey, you gotta take the small wins when you can get them.

I was invited by Chris of Dad of Divas to be featured on his segment Dad’s in the limelight. A series of interviews with various Dads around the world answering questions to give you a deeper understanding of them.

You can follow the link to check out the full interview Featured – Dads in the Limelight

featured dad

How many Parties is Too many Parties?

You already know that our little guy recently turned 2 and the celebrations were out of control (well, as out of control as you would expect for a 2 year old).

What you might not know is that he has group of friends all with birthdays within 2 months of each other.

What does this mean? every year around this time the Down Under Family spends at least 1 day of most weekends attending a child’s birthday party.

You can check out our adventures at 2 of them here 2nd Birthday Bonanza

toddler playground megamania

If you can’t tell already they were pretty wild too.

And it Wouldn’t be a Dad Blog Without?

Dad Jokes of course!

If in need of a good laugh you should check out 25/7/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

and there you have it, the week that was!

Stay tuned for the week ahead!

or if you have been away for awhile and want to see what we have been up to, check out Weekly Wrap Up – Sunday 22nd July 2018

25/7/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

Dad Joke of the day

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died.

Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal.

After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air – but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people.

The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was once again unharmed.
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.
“You know what? No,” said the executioner. “I’ve had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I’m not giving you a thing to eat; we’re strapping you in and doing this now.” Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said, “Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I’m just a bad conductor.”

See more Daily Dad Jokes here: Dad Joke of the Day

Dad Joke of the day

Weekly Wrap Up – Sunday 22nd July 2018

weekly wrap up

The weekend is Over, you have done what preparation you could for the week ahead and now its time to sit down and get that final bit of relaxation time in before heading to bed to start the week.

This is the perfect time to catch up on the week that was, especially if your like me and have been slacking off, too busy, or just focused on other things, that’s fine, I understand, this post is made for you, a summary of the last week, or so.

Disclaimer, this is actually a two week summary as I missed last weeks. Sorry to mislead you but Weekly Fortnight Wrap Up just didn’t have the same ring to it.

Our Quick Escape

I told you I have been busy, our little family went away for 3 days to the beautiful Hunter Valley.

The first day was really a half day by the time we arrived. A filling lunch at a nice little cafe, a play in the park, and exploring the hotel rounded out the day, check it out here – Our Quick Escape – Part 1

quick escape hunter valley

The second day was fully packed from the time it started (around 2am). There was plenty of good food, we found some snow (in this part of the country??), and enjoyed some hot coffee. Some more fun back at the hotel and the day was over. Find out more Our Quick Escape – Part 2

I also told you I have been slacking off, so much that I still haven’t finished Part 3 – Coming Soon.

The Little Guy Turns 2

I’ve been blogging now for a few months and I just realised I never actually mention our little guys name. Oliver has finally turned 2 and Mr and Mrs Down Under are celebrating, not just his birthday but making it through 2 Years of Parenthood .

There was a wild party at the local pub to celebrate (as wild as it gets for a 2 year old), and plenty of new toys to keep Ollie occupied for at least a couple of days.

car

Twitter Mention

So it turns out that something Mrs Down Under stumbled upon on Youtube – Super Simple Songs is pretty well known. They should really teach you this stuff before you become a parent.

All I did was tweet something that my child did and tagged the artist and it went viral, well as viral as someone with 170 followers on Twitter can go.

baby shark

If you want to stay up to date and hear even more bad dad jokes (only the best ones make the blog), then give me a follow @DownUnderDadbg

Bucket List Contribution

A few weeks ago I came across a post from Wendy at Travel Drink Dine , asking for submissions for an Australian Bucket List. What better way to highlight the great city Down Under Dad comes from then by contributing a section for my hometown of Newcastle. You can find the full list here by following the link Reblog – The Ultimate Australian Bucket List – Travel Drink Dine

Random Facts about Newcastle

The contribution to the bucket list was only short and was more touristy then anything, sure it might interest you if you were travelling around Australia, it didn’t really give you much information.

After reading The Cole Campfire’s Top 10 Random Facts about Oregon I decided to make a similar list.

If you want to know more about where Down Under Dad comes from, check out Top 10 Random Facts about Newcastle . While it doesn’t neccesarily sum up the best things about Newcastle, it certainly has some interesting facts that not even the people who live here might know.

Nobbys Beach Newcastle

Dad Joke

Have you been paying attention? I told you only the Best Dad Jokes make it to my Blog. 2 Dad Jokes made it to the hall of fame that is the Down Under Dad Blog this week.

You can read the one about the Surgeon and his Patient here 14/7/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

Or if the Pope is more your style check out 21/7/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

dad joke

As I said at the start this wasn’t so much a weekly wrap up but a fortnightly wrap up as I’ve been a combination of Slack and Busy. This week should see a change in that.

Hope you’ve had a Great Week! Enjoy the week ahead. If your still awake and feel like some more light reading, you can check out the previous Weekly Wrap Up here – Weekly Wrap Up – Sunday 8th July 2018.

NEW-Dreamteam-badgeglobal-blogging-feature

21/7/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

dad joke of they day

So the Pope is SUPER early for his flight.

He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn’t driven a car since becoming the pope.

Naturally, he’s a bit rusty, so he’s driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope “Hold on for a minute,” and goes back to his car to radio the chief.

Cop: “Chief we have a situation. I’ve pulled over an important figure.”

Chief: “How important? A governor or something?”

Cop: “No sir. He’s bigger.”

Chief: “So, what? a celebrity or something?”

Cop: “More important, sir.”

Chief: “A major politician?”

Cop: “No sir, he’s much more important.”

Chief: “WELL WHO IS IT!?”

Cop: “Well actually I’m not sure. But the pope’s his driver.”

dad joke of they day

14/7/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

dad joke

Scalpel. . .

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up, and demands to know what is going on.

“I’m about to close,’ the surgeon says.

The patient grabs the surgeon’s hand and says, “I’m not going to let you do that! I’ll close my own incision!”

The doctor hands him the thread and says, “Go ahead…Suture self”!

dad joke

For more Dad Jokes:

Daily Dad Jokes

Weekly Wrap Up – Sunday 8th July 2018

weekly wrap up

Its Sunday night, dinner is done, the little guy is asleep (for now), its time to relax before the week begins again, which means its time for. . .

weekly wrap up

Weekly Wrap Up

This week has been a bit of a long one in the Down Under Household. What began as a lack of sleep quickly escalated when we realised our little guy had become sick with not 1, not 2, but a combination of 3 different illnesses.

After a trip to the Doctors, antibiotics and house rest was in order. For an adult that doesn’t sounds half bad, for an active toddler who loves being outside, it makes for a tough week.

How did we cope? check out the post below:

A Week with a Sick Toddler

toddler wooden trainset

If a lack of sleep didn’t come from a Toddler Sleep Regressions then it definitely came from having a sick toddler this week, and what’s the best way to cope without sleep? Coffee!

This week we discussed whether drinking a hot cup of Coffee everyday was simply a habit that a lot of adults partake of, or a necessity for parents.

Everyone has their own thoughts when it comes to coffee, Just like everyone has their favorite type or preferred order, depending on the time and the place.

If you missed it you can read the discussion below:

Coffee – Habit or Necessity

coffee
Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

Finally what would a Dad Blog be without Dad Jokes.

This week rather then focusing on a standout joke for a day, we decided to visit StomperDad’s post from back in April when he did a A to Z blogging challenge.

When he got around to the letter J – J was for Joke, as in Dad Joke.

He then listed a couple of great Dad Jokes.

Reblog – J is for… #atozchallenge

j

It was a relatively quiet week from Down Under Dad. This week will be different though as we have a couple of major things happening:

  • A Short Break Away – The 3 members of the Down Under Family are taking a short 2 night break in the Hunter Valley. This will be a long over due break for both Dad and Mum, and the last time we will get away before When 3 become 4. . ..
  • Our little guy also turns 2 this week! – While his actual birthday occurs while we are away, when we get back we have his birthday party.

So if you don’t hear much from me at the start of the week, it will ramp up towards the end so stay tuned. If you want to keep up to date while we are away, follow me on Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/downunderdadblog/. On top of this there will be probably be another Dad Joke or 2.

Thanks for tuning in.