WordPress Resources at SiteGround

WordPress is an award-winning web software, used by millions of webmasters worldwide for building their website or blog. SiteGround is proud to host this particular WordPress installation and provide users with multiple resources to facilitate the management of their WP websites:

Expert WordPress Hosting

SiteGround provides superior WordPress hosting focused on speed, security and customer service. We take care of WordPress sites security with unique server-level customizations, WP auto-updates, and daily backups. We make them faster by regularly upgrading our hardware, offering free CDN with Railgun and developing our SuperCacher that speeds sites up to 100 times! And last but not least, we provide real WordPress help 24/7! Learn more about SiteGround WordPress hosting

WordPress tutorial and knowledgebase articles

WordPress is considered an easy to work with software. Yet, if you are a beginner you might need some help, or you might be looking for tweaks that do not come naturally even to more advanced users. SiteGround WordPress tutorial includes installation and theme change instructions, management of WordPress plugins, manual upgrade and backup creation, and more. If you are looking for a more rare setup or modification, you may visit SiteGround Knowledgebase.

Free WordPress themes

SiteGround experts not only develop various solutions for WordPress sites, but also create unique designs that you could download for free. SiteGround WordPress themes are easy to customize for the particular use of the webmaster.

Reblog – 16 Hilarious Parenting Memes

parenting meme

Reblog from Father-Hood.co.uk

As I was doing some nightly reading to catch up on what every other Parenting Blog (and more) have been up to I came across this one that I felt the need to share with everyone.

16 Hilarious Parenting Memes

Anyone who is connected to the various social pipes knows what a meme is and appreciates and values their humor.

While non-parents may still get a laugh out of this list,

Only parents will truly understand them.

parenting meme

Enjoy!

Fatherhood.co.uk’s 16 Hilarious Parenting Memes

The Week So Far. . .

baby driver

Its Friday! in this part of the world anyway, which means the weekend is here. Down Under Dad actually has this weekend off work so more time outside, more time for adventures, and more time with the family.

How has your week been? Considering the weather has still been unseasonably warm, the week has been relatively straight forward in the Down Under Household.

Tuesday

So while nothing overly exciting happened on Tuesday, you will understand why I brought it up in a minute.

Tuesday is daycare day for Oliver. From the reports we get back from the centre, some days it feels like he has more fun there then he does at home.

Normally on a Tuesday Mrs Down Under would go to work, with Down Under Dad not starting work til later in the day, it would fall to me to get the little guy up and ready for Daycare whenever he woke up.

This Tuesday however Down Under Dad had been asked to work during the day rather then the afternoon like usual. Normally this is a good thing, and this week was no different. However it did mean that the morning routine which usually doesn’t have a time limit, was rushed.

Now I won’t bore you with the details, but of course a 2 year old doesn’t really understand when there is a sense of urgency about getting ready. It also happened to be a morning after a night of interrupted sleep (see Toddler Sleep Regressions). This meant that not only were Mr and Mrs Down Under Dad tired, but so was the little guy.

How does the morning routine go in your household? Is it always organised chaos? or have you got it down to a fine art? I’m keen to hear your tips.

Wednesday

Regular followers would know that Wednesday mornings means Swimming Lessons with the little guy. You can see our previous experiences here Swimming Lessons .

The swimming lessons happen the same time every week throughout the year except for during school holidays. That means that we are 2 weeks into this term of lessons. It also means that not only did we have a 2 week break before this, but due to A Week with a Sick Toddler , we actually had 4 weeks off.

swimming lessons

For most people 4 weeks off wouldn’t be an issue, unfortunately when you are dealing with a toddler, 4 weeks off can seem a lifetime.

To summarise, swimming lessons aren’t exactly going swimmingly (#dadjoke) at the moment, fingers crossed another week and they will be back to the usual fun.

After swimming we needed to duck into the supermarket for some urgent supplies (literally wearing the last nappy we had), unfortunately getting back into the car with groceries in one arm and a toddler in the other proved difficult. If you follow me on Instagram @downunderdadblog you already know how this goes.

Our 2 year old’s fascination with cars has reached the next level, now he feels the need to pretend to drive the real ones. Oliver managed to climb into the drivers seat before Down Under Dad had a chance to strap him in and wouldn’t budge. What followed was a long ordeal (15 minutes or so) of Dad sitting in the passenger seat while the little guy pretended to drive.

baby driverWhile there is a smile on his face, every time I asked him to hop in the back I was politely told No No No!

Thankfully the hostage situation ended peacefully with the subject restrained.

Friday

This morning we had arranged for our tax returns to be completed. Again I won’t bore you with the details, but the little guy was surprisingly well behaved.

As we had left home in a hurry, we decided to eat out for breakfast. If you have read about Our Quick Escape – Part 1 then you would know we really enjoy eating fancy for breakfast.

The venue we decided on was Table 1 Espresso , we had been before but when the little guy was much younger. The difference now was we needed 3 meals between us not 2.

As before the service was great, as was the food.

Breakfast

As you can see breakfast consisted of Bacon and Eggs etc for Dad, and pancakes for Mum and Oliver.

The thing about eating at a restaurant with a toddler is that you never know just how much you are going to eat. If you don’t order them their own meal, then they will proceed to eat all of yours. If you do, chances are even if its a ‘kids’ serving, it will be too much.

Today proved to be a combination of the two.

20180803_1119041909921049.jpg

A combination of the two in more ways then one, in the picture above you can see the little guy’s excitement at mixing his ice-cream with Mum’s juice.

All in all everyone enjoyed their meal, the little guy didn’t eat much but his meal was finished off by Dad without hesitation.

The Weekend

As its Friday today, that means the weekend is tomorrow. What have you got planned? Mr and Mrs Down Under Dad are having a child free night, which means its finally time for another Date Night .

Enjoy the Weekend!

 

1/8/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

spontaneous dad joke

any resemblance to actual kids is purely coincidental

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

spontaneous dad joke

For more Dad Jokes check out Dad Jokes of the Day

or follow me on twitter @DownUnderDadbg

 

Top 10 Dads on Twitter

top 10 tuesday twitter dad

Its Tuesday which means its time for another ‘Top 10 Tuesday’ segment.

This week’s topic is Twitter – or more specifically, Dad’s on Twitter.

Now I’m going to come out and say it, and if you don’t hear from me again you will know that the secret ‘Parenthood Illuminati’* have quietened me for making this secret public.

*may or not may exist

Twitter is where you find out what really goes on in Parent’s Lives. Its Honest and Unfiltered, and for the most part a judgement free zone.

But as this Dad Blog started off as a resource for Dads who need some support, I feel its my duty to bring you:


The Top 10 Dads on Twitter


Note this list is the Top 10 that I have found so far, given the sheer size of Twitter and the number of parents in the world, this list is by no means comprehensive. Here they are in no particular order.

1) Shaun Smith –  @Shaundsmith80

Shaun daily posts cover the hilarious side of parenting


2) Twinzer Dad – @TwinzerDad

If you thought having 1 toddler was tough, try having 2 the same age.


3) ThreeTimeDaddy – @threetimedaddy

As the Dad of 3 he has a lot of experiences under his belt, and has no problem with being honest about them.


4) Richard Dean – @dad_on_my_feet

Most of Richard’s daily funnies come not so much from what he does, but the responses it generates from his kids.


5) Dad and Buried – @DadandBuried

For something a bit different he tweets more about his life as a Dad, rather then what his kids do.


6) Modern Dad Pages – @moderndadpages

While normally a good source of retweets from various Dads, he can occasionally be found asking the real questions in life,


7) A Bearer of Dad News – @HomeWithPeanut

This Dad is great for supporting other Dads on Twitter,


8) Dad Bits – @DadBits

This Dad has some older kids compared to others I follow. While the stories are different, the themes remain the same.


9) The Real American Dadass – @R_A_Dass

Its the honesty of this Dad that keeps me entertained the most.


10) Mr. Dad – @parenthoodperks

As the Dad of an infant, these tweets bring back a lot of memories, and help prepare for the future.


So if you’re a parent on twitter, then definitely follow these guys for those days when you really need a laugh.

If you’re a parent and you’re not on twitter, you probably should be.

If you’re on twitter and you don’t have kids, use this as a way to see what parents are really going through.

After another Top 10 List? Check out last week’s Top 10 Random Facts about Newcastle

2nd Birthday Bonanza

toddler playground megamania

With a title like that you’re thinking one of 2 things, either:

  • I am one of those (insane?) parents who not only celebrates the birthday of their children but the entire month, or
  • We somehow had another child born within a couple of weeks of our first – now that would make for a good story.

note, you could be forgiven for choosing option 1 as we did go away for 3 days leading up to the little guy’s 2nd birthday, you can read about it here Our Quick Escape – Part 1

Or I could be wrong and its something completely different, either way I’ll offer up a third option;

More 2nd Birthday Parties to Attend!

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before but my wife has a group of Mum friends that she is really close with. They all met during antenatal classes before babies came along and stayed good friends, the Dads became friends too, albeit not as close as their other halves.

Anyway that means they have a group of friends all with kids around the same age. That’s means the kids all know each other and are growing up together (to a point). This also means that their birthdays are around the same time of the year.

Last year that meant every weekend for almost 2 months there was a 1st birthday party to attend – if we’re honest it was the most social any of the group had been in 12 months.

This year the calendar isn’t quite as fully booked, but there has still been some fun to be had, you can check out the celebrations for Oliver’s 2nd birthday here 2 Years of Parenthood

Want to see how we celebrated his friends birthdays?

Party Number 1

Well 2 if you count ours as number 1.

So our Party was held at a Pub, Party number 2 was held at a local Play Centre called ‘Megamania’ – Think Multi-Story indoor playground.

As far as a venue for a kids party goes, this would have to be right up there. Its secure so your kids can’t escape – not that they would want to, they provide party food, drink, and cake – because you can’t have a party without cake, and the fun is physical enough that your toddler will be worn out enough by the end to have a sleep – at least you hope so anyway.

toddler playground megamania

The playground itself is imposing enough for an adult (would be close to 3 stories tall), let alone a toddler.

No, don’t worry, the playground doesn’t have some inbuilt spy cameras, to give Ollie enough confidence to play by himself, Down Under Dad had to play with him for the first few times.

You can see below just how high the playground is

toddler playground megamania

After being forcefully removed by his Dad as cake was being served, the little guy ended up going back inside all by himself – #proudparentingmoment right there.

If you look closely you can see him up the top

toddler playground megamaniaIf you look over the right of the photo you can also see the large red slide. While this was the cause of much joy and laughter, it wasn’t without some bumps.

At some point Ollie decided to go down on the slide by himself. Long story short he ended up with a small friction burn on his chin. Like a true toddler though he continued playing like it was nothing, he did however drag Dad back up to the slide each time after that though.

Overall the Party was a success, although it didn’t quite wear him out as much as we would have thought.

Party Number 2

or is it 3??

The next party was something completely different again. The venue? a local park, if you have been following you would know that this is a dream come true for the little guy, check out Weekend Adventures .

Luckily at the moment we are going through a surprisingly warm time for the middle of winter. Not only is it warm but the sun is out and there is little wind. Perfect for a day at the park.

One of the bonuses of this park was it was also only a short drive away, no major planning needed and anything we forgot was a short trip back home.

note, not that we did, I did see that as a bonus though in case we needed it.

A feature of the park was a large network of paths connecting BBQ areas and playgrounds. This proved to be the perfect chance to try out one of Ollie’s birthday presents.

toddler bike

Before you say anything, yes he does have a helmet, but it was left at home – only a short drive away. Not that we did go get it, #parentingfail ,  to be fair he didn’t actually spend a lot of time on the bike.

He did however choose to eat freshly cut fruit over crackers and dip, already choosing the healthy option, that has to be a #parentingwin right there.

toddler playground park

Did we mention at earlier that this party was held at a park? part of the reason not a lot of time was spent on the bike was that he was distracted by the play equipment.

Here you can see him climbing up the netting, the first couple of times he got stuck at the top but once we showed him where to hold on, he did it all by himself, over and over and over.

Unfortunately our time at this party was cut short as Down Under Dad had to work in the afternoon, however a great time was still had.

 

25/7/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

Dad Joke of the day

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died.

Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal.

After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air – but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people.

The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was once again unharmed.
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.
“You know what? No,” said the executioner. “I’ve had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I’m not giving you a thing to eat; we’re strapping you in and doing this now.” Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said, “Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I’m just a bad conductor.”

See more Daily Dad Jokes here: Dad Joke of the Day

Dad Joke of the day

Vocabulary of a almost 2 Year Old

Learning to speak another language isn’t easy, it requires time, patience, and commitment. Everyone has a different opinion on how long it takes based on how fluent you wish to become in the language and your environment. One thing is for sure, it takes a lot longer to learn your first language.

For those who haven’t been following along, I currently have 1 child who turns 2 in just under 2 months. Every day it seems his vocabulary is expanding. So far he hasn’t learnt to say any words he shouldn’t, So far. He at the stage where the words he picks up are random and he may have only heard them once or twice.

 

Words he has Mastered

Mum – An easy one, and often a first word for many children. It has also expanded to many other derivatives such as, Mummy, Mumma, Mom.

Dad – Another easy one, often comes hand in hand with the last one. Also expanded to include Daddy and Dada

Car – If you have a favorite object then there is a good chance you are going to learn how to say it so your family knows what you want. Our son is obsessed with cars, or anything with wheels

Nanna – multiple syllable words that repeat the same sounds are easy for a toddler to learn. They also enjoy saying them with varying levels of tone. NANA when he sees her. Nana? if she is on the phone. Nana Car! when she pulls up out the front.

Pop – for a simple word this one did take awhile to learn. It was his first word with a P in it though.

Tea – Not the meal, but the warm beverage. Also, coffee is seen as tea to him. Both commonly found in our household.

Ball – If you are playing outside, it doesn’t matter where you are a Ball can turn it into a game. Along with this we have started learning to kick a ball around too.

Move – When something or someone is in your way, you either move it yourself, or ask them to move. We must use this term a lot in our home as he as picked it up pretty clearly.

Stuck – What happens when something doesn’t move or you can’t move it yourself? Its Stuck! We used to use this word in conversations with our toddler about his playing. “is the ball stuck?” Now he uses it to announce to the family when he is having difficulty moving something.

Shoes – We all wear shoes, we all have different kinds of shoes. If our son wants his shoes on then he will find them and bring them to us. If we say the word ‘shoe’ in conversation, he will proceed to bring us various pairs of shoes until we put one on.

Uggboot – Everyone has their favorite pair of shoes, including Uggboots. Not being allowed to wear the Uggboots outside though has been the cause of multiple tantrums.

vocabulary of an almost 2 year old

 

Words he is struggling with

Eddie – EeeEee. Our beloved dog’s name, this was always going to be a word he learnt early on as he often hears us say it.

Truck – Tuck. When you love cars so much, the next evolution of this is always going to be bigger cars or Trucks! He loves watching them, the weekly garbage truck is like a celebrity to him. Just need to master the R.

Bowl – Booowwl. 9 times out of 10, a bowl means breakfast. If we are in the kitchen, then he feels the need to point out the bowls, just with a bit of emphasis on the oooowl.

Bottle – Bot Bot. Not sure if this is his nickname for a bottle or just can’t grasp it. Either way if its time and you mention that word, you better have one on the way.

Lunch Box – Ln Box. When we go to daycare we need to make sure we pack our lunch. Once its packed we better make sure we don’t leave it behind.

Pool – Apool. You can read all about our adventures with swimming lessons here. Where else do you go for swimming lessons but the pool of course. Not sure if he can’t pronounce it or he just gets too excited to speak clearly..

Moana – Ana. Everyone has a favorite movie to watch. Our Son is obsessed with Disney’s ‘Moana’, more specifically the songs. Whether its for some quiet time on the lounge or to get up and dance to, this movie never fails to entertain.

Shower – Hower. Fun fact, our house doesn’t have a bath, which means our son has gotten used to showering everyday rather then baths. He really enjoys this daily routine, so much he can almost pronounce it clearly, or at least enough so we know what he means.

Grandma – nndma. I know someone who is eagerly awaiting him mastering this word. Its not that he doesn’t know who she is, but can’t quite get the word out.

Banana – naaana. One of his favorite fruits. 3 syllable words aren’t part of his skill set yet.

What comes next

Sentences of course!

While he often starts up very interesting conversations with either himself or other family members, he can’t quite string clear words together yet. However if he is trying to talk to you, you better respond as if you know exactly what he means otherwise he won’t be too impressed.

20180411_135558877837109.jpg

31/5/18 – Dad Joke of the Day

dad joke

Money isn’t everything

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother
who lived far away in another city.
The first said, “I had a big house built for Mum.”
The second said, “I had a hundred thousand pound theater built in the house.”
The third said “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her.”
The fourth said, “You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute £100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.”

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mum sent out her thank you notes.
She wrote: “Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”
“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my shopping delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.”
“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.”
“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you.”

 

More Daily Dad Jokes available at:

http://downunderdad.blog/category/dad-jokes/